Hoping you were never someone’s mistake: Simpson explores the complexities of self-validation and belonging
by Sahar Ghadirian, graphic by Aneta Urbonaite
☆
Released on May 12, Simpson’s self-produced track ‘Big Mistake’ taps into her inner self. This introspection, however, does not make the song any less relatable. We can engage with her lyricism much more this way.
With elements of a ’90s-esque, post-grunge melody, ‘Big Mistake’ can be compared to Clairo’s ‘Bags’ or Snail Mail’s ‘Speaking Terms.’ While some may find music comparisons controversial, it is a necessary key to unlocking new and exciting music. ‘Big Mistake’ is an extremely compelling track, deserving as much recognition as the others achieved in their infancy.
Despite the song’s emotional presence, there is nonchalance and vacancy. The lyrics, ‘everything's alright’ and the chorus’ ‘talk to me I’m fine’ encapsulate this sentiment. We often pretend things are okay, even when they aren’t. While we may not discuss the desperation of craving human connection and belongingness, this may make us look or even feel numb. It's necessary to have these conversations now, more than ever, as loneliness is all-consuming regardless of our social situations.
“It's necessary to have these conversations now more than ever, because loneliness is all-consuming, regardless of our social situations.”
Rejection comes in many forms. Often times, our fear of being knocked-back from people we love, strangers, and ourselves leaves us in need of validation. I think this is the most relatable feeling to gather from Simpson’s song — that we should learn to accept ourselves, despite what others think.
In the end, the gentleness of Simpson’s vocals overwhelms you with a sweeping sadness that embodies the same issue of validation. She sings of a common worry: hoping that you brought some light into someone’s life, rather than being their dreaded mistake. Despite the pain caused, I guess everything is a learning curve, right?
A lot of us, like Simpson, just want to belong. This sense of belonging is more of an idea of contentment rather than a group of people or one person. The assumptions we have of people happy in families, relationships, and successful careers make it hard not to want to be chosen for someone’s team.
“This sense of belonging is more of an idea of contentment rather than a group of people or one person.”
The accompanying music video matches this theme with nostalgic montages reminiscent of times which now seem so distant. Simpson’s song makes you pine for a time before restrictions when we could freely travel and have a physical connection. ‘Big Mistake’ reminds us that we’re not alone in this feeling and that with some hope we can return to this reality once again.
Simpson sings ‘make memories that ain’t so blue.’ Hopefully, as time passes, we can do exactly that. The release of ‘Big Mistake’ could not have come at a better time, grounding us when everything else seems up in the air. Be on the lookout for more music from Simpson in 2020!