Desktop Diaries: Hot Flash Heat Wave

Interview & Photos by Athena Merry, Collages by Jade

these interviews were conducted over zoom + email between april and july of 2020. the answers are mostly unedited, offering an honest insight into the headspace of various bands/musicians across the world during these months.

you can read more desktop diaries here.

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Hot Flash Heat Wave

How have you been, really

I’ve been up and down. The magnitude of this global crisis has felt overwhelming at times, but I’m really rooting into taking care of myself and others as much as I can. I’m grateful to have a project to work on, and I’m also trying to remember to be patient with myself and just try to enjoy as many of the simple things as I can.

How has quarantine affected the way you create? Are there any changes that surprised you? Anything that’s remained the same?

We were already planning on diving deep into writing and completing our new record coming off our last tour (which was cut a day short by the pandemic), so I definitely have had to balance expectations and reconcile with some of the pressure I was putting on myself to be as productive as I might be without all the extra anxiety. I’m trying to let go of the bigger picture and just enjoy the music and writing process.

Where have you been finding inspiration in isolation? And expanding on that, what’s the most random thing that has inspired you?

I’ve been listening to a ton of music, reading books, trying to do creative stuff like drawing when I can, spending lots of time outdoors and trying new things like Club Quarantine or movie nights with my family. A lot of my inspiration comes from books and listening to music though. Most recently, Killing Commendatore by Murakami and the new albums by Tame Impala and Charli XCX.

What does your typical day look like now? 

I have a routine of meditation and exercise in the morning, then I try to write a list of things I want to get done on that day. Even if I don’t get to anything on the list, it helps to add some sense of intention and freshness to the monotony.

Have you picked up any new habits? (conscious or unconscious) 

I’ve been more diligent about meditating, and keeping up with my exercise which is new for me this year. I’ve also made extra effort to keep in contact with my friends and loved ones. It’s easy for me to fall into nasty habits like drinking or smoking a lot spending so much time at home, which I have been trying to balance.

What do you find important right now? This can be as broad and world-effecting or as small and self-focused as you want. 

For me it’s been important to focus on a sense of all of us moving through this time together. I want to do my best to appreciate all the good in the world amidst processing this tragic collective experience.

As a musician unable to play live shows - how do you find yourself connecting with fans, now? How do you think this is impacting our experience of and relationship with music? 

As a music fan myself, having some of my favorite artists step up and do live streams or put out incredible music in the last couple months has really helped me cope with the craziness. It feels to me like the importance of music is more obvious than ever, and I am so grateful to be able to contribute in any way I can. We have been doing more live streams to stay in touch with our fans, and we’re also thinking up new ways to connect and support, kind of making it up as we go along like everybody else.

What was the last selfish thing you did? 

I think I’ve been kinda selfish with my time, really taking it easy when I feel overwhelmed and also making sure to do self-care rituals daily.

Tell us about the last time you truly felt free.

I’ve been thinking back to the last tour a lot. We did two of shows, first with The Growlers in Germany, then with Turnover in the UK, and we got to travel through mainland Europe and spend some time in Berlin in between. Waking up and jogging through new cities, meeting friends in cool artistic spaces. I was looking at a photo yesterday of me drinking a pilsner at 10am in Prague, so that’s the first moment that comes to mind when I think of feeling free.

What’s something you’re proud of at the moment? 

I’ve been feeling really proud of my drawings and design work recently. I shared my process for the last round of merch I made on my Instagram recently, and I felt affirmed and genuinely touched by the support because it’s something I haven’t put out there as much as my music.

What long term effects do you think this experience will have on you moving forward? 

It’s a time I will remember for having to face my demons and accept the good and bad in life. I think it’s really putting me in touch with the people I live with and all my relationships. When shit really hits the fan it makes you appreciate stuff you might otherwise take for granted.

What’s one thing you wish you would have done more of? One thing you will do more of after the pandemic has ended?

I want to make an effort to live adventurously, try new things and appreciate the privilege of spending time with my friends and even strangers. More than anything I want to be able to dance in a room full of people again.

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