Desktop Diaries: Madeline the Person
Interview & Photos by Athena Merry, Collages by Jade
these interviews were conducted over zoom + email between april and july of 2020. the answers are mostly unedited, offering an honest insight into the headspace of various bands/musicians across the world during these months.
you can read more desktop diaries here.
Madeline the Person
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How have you been, really?
I've been feeling lovely, restless, anxious, excited, inspired, nostalgic, and sleepy.
How has quarantine affected the way you create? Are there any changes that surprised you? Anything that’s remained the same?
I anticipated that I would be writing songs like crazy in quarantine because I have the time, but I have come to realize that I still just write when I have the pulling feeling to. More time does not equal more creation for me. I have to let my feelings develop before I think about them and express them. It's a cool and weird thing to watch myself do.
Where have you been finding inspiration in isolation? And expanding on that, what’s the most random thing that has inspired you?
I have been getting loads of inspiration from all of these changes that are happening so quickly. I just finished high school, my personal relationships are changing, my relationship with myself is shifting, and I am learning. The newness brings up so many emotions that I need to express. My most random inspiration has been these miniature household items that I buy online. I don't know what it is, but they bring me so much joy. So small.
What does your typical day look like now?
I usually wake up around 9 or 10 am, and I do whatever my body tells me to do. Sometimes breakfast, sometimes I get dressed, sometimes I don't. I wouldn't say that my routine these days is absolutely healthy, but I am working on it.
Have you picked up any new habits? (conscious or unconscious)
I guess I've developed a couple of obsessions that are kind of like habits. I'm so in love with doing online jigsaw puzzles. I do several a day. I also take care of my virtual pets on Webkinz. I am reverting into my childhood ways lol.
What do you find important right now? This can be as broad and world-effecting or as small and self-focused as you want.
I find freedom to be very important right now. Not only for me, learning to navigate taking care of myself, but for so many American people right now. We all deserve freedom, and I will do all that I can to help those who don't have theirs.
As a musician unable to play live shows - how do you find yourself connecting with fans, now? How do you think this is impacting our experience of and relationship with music?
It's kind of cool because I haven't done many live shows in my career, so this quarantine has let me create a close relationship with my fanbase through livestreams and dms. I often sing my tiktok followers to sleep, and it feels like a huge sleepover. It's so cool to learn about so many people so quickly.
What was the last selfish thing you did?
The last selfish thing I did was let my lizard's crickets die before he could eat them. Not very nice of me :( (but he will eat them anyway).
Tell us about the last time you truly felt free.
The last time I felt truly free was when I couldn't sleep and decided to drive around through the night. I was screaming songs at the top of my lungs, and at some points, I was completely engulfed in the silence of the world. I got home when the sun rose. It was cool.
What’s something you’re proud of at the moment?
I am proud of growing my fanbase and getting to know the people who anticipate and enjoy my music. It's been such a gift to experience. I seriously love these people.
What long term effects do you think this experience will have on you moving forward?
I personally think that this is one of the most important turning points in my life and possibly the lives of many others. The whole world is unsure and restless. So many of our norms have gone out of the window. What I will take from this is the reminder that there are infinite ways to be. The way that society is set up obviously has so many flaws, and that's a beautiful reminder to live innovatively. Humans are so adaptable, we can bounce back. We can create and destroy in seconds. I have watched so many people come together through this experience of absolutely losing everything we've based our daily lives upon. We now create our own experience with what we have. So cool
What’s one thing you wish you would have done more of? One thing you will do more of after the pandemic has ended?
I wish I had hugged my friends more. This happens to be the time when we are all parting ways to start college/life, so it's strange to start the distance early. After the pandemic, I will hopefully just go outside more often.